Father, Son, Spirit~

A lot of things happen these days... but overall it is like over and over again...wondering about a lot of things. I think the most would be my Faith. The fight bewteen the fresh & the Spirit... sometimes it really doesn't "feel" so good. I been dealing with the "religion spirit", "self-center" and "depression"...all these doesn't help me so much. The devil will always try to come after you, I believe all they doing is make us off focus on what really important, they don't really have to do much, as long as we're not worshiping God. Didn't we fall off the purpose God given to us? What's the point reading the bible, going to church...if you forgot what's all these about. The devil want you to wonder... That's why it is always import to know God first. Seek first the Kingdom of God and he will given the things you need in life. God the Father, as a father He will watch over you. Jesus the Son of God will be your friend even you walk through hard times. Spirit of God is like a helper. He will guide you and give you what you need. The Spirit of God know God so much and He will lead you. I always think of this family I have here, it is what I long for...this is what I really need. I look to them, they carry me, they have what I need. God can fill you with strength... keep you going. Suport you as a family.

Love & Devotion~

I realize I’m so easy to fall, get up again… fall again… thousand times I failed… But still you’re here. You’re still my friend. Nothing had changed… it doesn’t matter how I feel really… just like the beginning… it is about You… this story of life is yours. The theme is Your Love…It is your Love came into my life…It been amazing ride eh~ And we should ride on!! You’re my good friend… your passion overtake me… surrounding me. Amazed me… breaking me… comfort me. And I found myself caught in your grace… ya even there are dark times in life… I look to you and there is Hope. Final Hope… no one can offer… you make a way for me… for Andy… as you saw me at that dark place, you set me free from evil…from voices in my head… from questioning… from the heavy of the world. I found myself lost in myself, but when it came down to your Love…I’m sure, I’m clear.At that cross I declare you are Love… Overall your presence is all I seek… where I belong!

Before Jesus went on the cross, he told his friends that to love & serve on another. To be honest, I always feel like changeling to serve… I always prayer to God that I could have that heart of servant… not by what I done… but because of who you are. Pride is a big issue to everyone I think. To me ya… my good friend here told me Love can break down pride. Perfect Love cast out fears…the Love of God is all we need. Do not force yourself to love because you don’t have it. It really remain me…Andy you don’t have it and you can’t give it. To be honest we try so hard to love the people we close to… but we feel dry out so easy… caz this love doesn’t’ come out us. We have to look to the SOURCE of LOVE. The Words said God is LOVE. Yes…He is Love. No one can offer such great love. Just few days before Easter I was walking down the street *it is like 10pm at night lol* I don’t think I feet the best that night, well I still trap in the stress and confusions I guess. But I fall into God’s presence… understand that’s where we belong…yes, the weary is gone… safe in His Hand. How Great is our God! That’s where I found strength to go on… where I found a way to Love again… to sing out where the World is silence… Ya, because of Him I AM! So go back to the story Lol I was walking on the street… and I saw this man lending side the wall. I was wondering what he doing… so I kinda ask “You okay?” And he look at me and said. “why do you ask me….?” I was like… just wanna to see if you need some help. I realize he is kinda of drunk or sth. So he point at me and ask “You Christian?” That’s shocking…ummm Ya I’m a Christian I said. And for the next minutes, he keep asking me “Are you a Christian…I’m a Christian too…” on and on I don’t know what to do really… I’m afraid…fear of what I’m doing… it is at that moment I shake his hands… there is something shocking to me…. Isn’t that how Jesus came to the poor? Lower yourself Andy… to serve and came to need of others. Oh well, I told ya… the rest is crazy as I go on… I was looking for a restaurant or sth caz I haven’t eaten anything much. So he show me one. Turkey Local Restaurant… they speak some languages I never got it Lol He buy me food & drink… *I was gonna to pay for that but he strongly disagree* And he ask me if I drink wine? I said no really… I don’t drink. He said little wine is alright… well sure it doesn’t really turn out that way. So he bring me to bar and buy some beers. Oh well… the last time I had beer is like seven years ago…and I never wanna to try again…it just taste so bad Lol But this time I take a bit… And he sit down at the gambling machine and start playing it… Across my mind is like… this is not good at all…What am I doing really? Here is the voices… you’re crazy… why would you wanna to do with anything with this man? But the Holy Spirit speak back Lol *Good Game guys Lol* You gonna to love him, you gonna to do what ever it takes to show him love…For I had show you Love… Yes…as Jesus said to his friend before he leaves the world… You must Love on another. Love is not an options…it is a commandment~ so ya, I keep remaining myself do it with love…yes don’t let anything come into your heart…guide your heart…fix your eyes on Jesus. Perfect Love cast out Fears…. I found that that’s what it need here… I stay with this man caz he invited me so…*ya pretty crazy* He saying a lot of stuff I don’t really understand… all I take is he saying… “ Don’t leave me… I’m a Christian too…” I think that’s how Jesus take… not on how much we done wrong. He doesn’t focus on that, but compassion toward us. I think that’s what I do. I spend time with this man I just meet on the street and even stay over-night~ You’re crazy Andy Lol

The man named Davron. He lives in a bible college*used to be Lol right now just for rent* So ya, pretty nice place... He shows me some pictures and stuff… his family and tennis picture? He seems like tennis, he also shows me his picture on the poster, and he said he’s a professional tennis picture… I really don’t know about that. It will take it yes… I think he is. He show me his baptism certificate… it was last month.. Not long ago… somehow I kinda of know what he going through… myself had been there… not that I know him, but I know what’ he overcoming… He like music and dancing… I just random dancing with this man I know in one night Lol Oh well… I got to know this guy and I went to bed Lol yeepers I’m too tired… long day~ I pray for him, and I woke up in the morning… I said to Davron that I got to go back to school~ He seem okay… more clean in speech. I pray for him… It had been amazing journey knowing more people in life… I thank God for his grace to show people’s love and devotion… to do his Will, to offer love to people~

*Please pray for Knowing God & His Love toward us

Remember Your Creator~

It been a long week here… I realize every time I type up something is a long week Lol I think it started with me breaking down on the night… hmm it might sound wired to you but it does happen to everyone I think. I felt dry out this week… from all the things I been doing. The past week was so amazing and mind-breaking. I pretty much “tried” my best to reach all the people I got a chance to know out there. Talk to everybody I meet on the street, bus stop or train… I was amazed how much more I can do as I step up into people’s life, it is always good to talk to people, I really believe life is not about your own, and really is about serving on another, I’m glad I got to share about God with some of these people… but I realize I dry out so fast. Am I trying hard? Or I don’t have to? It is such a test of character to me, what’s your motive Andy? Do it with Love? Preach just the Gospel… nothing more. We all know this life is not about us… Before Jesus when on the cross, he washes his disciple’s feet and he said if he doesn’t do so you do not know him. When it came down to serving people, it really is showing how much you love God. Jesus said if you loves me you’ll loves one another. So if we really have that Revolution of Love-God is Love. You will do so… and I found myself tempted to do it my own, which we all know it doesn’t work… ya, Because His Love that I AM, apart that I can do nothing. So here I’m here to testify what happen few days ago…

I was struggling with my faith lately… my mind keep wondering, keep questioning about a lot of stuff… just not trapped in my own thinking… things like religion mind-set and worldly thinking get into my head… I realize how strong the devil tries to take us down when we’re close to God. Yes, the enemies don’t want you to be close to God… The more I fall into the “world wondering & reasoning trap”… not a good place to be really… tempted to try to do it your own…bad idea. As always remember you Lord, your Love is so strong… each time I blind to my way, your Spirit will pray. Yes, lead my way to you. I talk to Stephen… my friend, he really share time with me. Ya the conclusion is still, come back to him. I wondering why I always have to “stand back” to the point where I have to go through before… why I have little faith? Why I always Waverly? This is a battle of mind-set, and deeper revolution of my faith… I must renew my thinking, but it doesn’t start with me “trying”… only God’s Words will do. And my mind just denies it… “oh my, how could that work?” It is in my heart that I believe Jesus is the Lord and he had risen from the death. So ya we all had heard that before but what’s it really mean? It doesn’t mean anything if I don’t surround ALL of Mine to God.

I talk to you again, I struggle myself put those “mind-set” into the relationship here. I don’t know what to do really…what I’m going through. I feel down because I can not always be strong for you. I can not stay focus…on you. I fall so bad sometimes… feel guilty and failures... so many things in mind…Maybe a moment where time is no longer matter…I focus on that cross you died… how much more you have go through…for me. I understand you understand… it really no matter of how I feel. It is not what we do or think that make us right with you… it is what you done and said. You said and it is done…it is done…FINISHED!!! The forgiveness of sins… is done, and connection with God is found. No one can add or take off from it…it is a done deal. So it doesn’t matter how many times the devil try to ask me… question like where is your God? You don’t have that relationship or what? Religion questions? It only brings lies and confusions to us. We were all fall short the glory of God… but thank God his grace had made us right with him through the redemption of Christ Jesus… “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, "I have no delight in them";” Ecclesiastes 12:1

Remember…always… you can be broken, you can be poor, you can be weak, you can be depress… but overall, remember Your Creator caz he is the one lift you up, and keep you from evil.

Friendship that last~

I found myself reading the Words and talking to God these days... that's really what I need right now I think. Broken down with fears of life, no matter how hard I try I can not make this right... so ya, as usual I came to you... once again let my rest in you... once again let my heart be still... my soul be still... you understand how much unsure I'm going through... how much fears... how much pains...all these you understand. Why do my mind deny you? Why do my soul stumble? It is in my heart that I believe & and with my mouth that I confess you're my Lord & Saviour~ In the middle of hard time, I came to you... I came and you're here with me. Take me as I am, I never think I'm ready to change... but still your arm is open for me.

You're my friend, it doesn't matter how other people said... how the world said... or how my mind tell me... they all have deny you... but still you can't not deny yourself. You alone are good... none but you will be my friend... nothing~ Nothing in this world can separate us... your Love to us last forever... When everything fades... our friendship will last~